Family

12:00pm on Dec. 24, 2007 was an important time; it was a watershed in my life. Before it, I only had one family, my parents and I; after that, I have two families. Why? Because I got married to Margaret at that time and have my own family. Even we live apart from my parents, but in terms of Chinese tradition, we are also under the same roof. Therefore, I usually call the “big family” which includes my parents and us; the “young family” just for our couple. 

Firstly, let me introduce my big family makes four. My parents are traditional Chinese parents, stern father and loving mother. Did you watch Akeelah and the Bee? If you watched, you must remember Dylan’s father;  then you can imagine some pictures of my father and my happy childhood. In fact, like most of fathers, he loves me and hides his love deeply. My mother is the lubricant between my father and me. She does housework and looks after us. In my memory, home is always spotless as long as she stays at home. Mum is good at cooking; due to she has living experience in Indonesia with my grandparents, we have lucky to eat sate, gado-gado etc. Indonesian foods cooked by her.

Margaret --- my wife, she is our big family’s new member. She comes from Xi’an, Shaanxi Province and her parents are still living there. She is a pianist and now works for Shanghai Conservatory of Music. As for myself, I was born in Shanghai, grew up in different Chinese cities due to my parents’ working location changed, and stay in Shanghai since my university life started.

My parents both received well education. I believe their education background cause them accept part of western notion while they keep Chinese traditions. For example, unlike many traditional families have two or three even four generations stay together, they encouraged me keep independent while I was only sixteen years old. Therefore, we don’t live together since they retired and returned to Shanghai; we chose another apartment instead but within walking distance of them and arranged decoration, furniture, appliances etc. everything by ourselves. I was a frequent traveler because travel was the part of my past job; hotel became my home till I met Margaret and had our own family. We respect, support each other and love each other “through the best and the worst, through the difficult and easy”.

The community we live, Shanghai

  From Monday to Friday, we work and live in our apartment, enjoy every minute of our young family life. We cook some simple but delicious foods, we have many CDs on classic music & jazz waiting for us to enjoy. My parents also have their activities in this period. They meet their old friends, have some walks in the park and read books etc... In weekend, we will spend one or two days with "our" parents; we may shopping together, help them do some housework, or just listen to their chatter. So this is my family, “young family” in “big family”; we have independent living space, and our souls are always staying together.

Herein, I would like recommend a Chinese movie to you --- Eat Drink Man Woman, Chinese name is 饮食男女 (yin shi nan nv), direct by Ang Lee in 1994. Hope it can help you understand more on Chinese family.

Directed by Ang Lee ( also directed Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon & Brokeback Mountain)